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Writing concisely

(Based on a lecture by Ross Collins, professor of communication, North Dakota State University)

Writing concisely doesn't mean wholesale chopping and changing for arbitrary reasons. But it does mean looking for efficiency and economy. Some of the most common turgid phrasing includes ideas from my favorite writing coach, Stephen Wilbers columnist in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. As Wilbers notes, William Zinsser, author of one of the best books on writing of all time, said, "There's not much to be said about the period, except that most writers don't reach it soon enough."

1. Use simple words. Business people, particularly, seem to have the tendency to think readers will be impressed if they speak in complicated ways. Or maybe they're purposely trying to mislead. In mass media, however, simple words appeal to more people. "It is pointless to attempt to edify an elderly canine with novel maneuvers." Or we could say, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Okay, it's a cliché, but makes the point. Mark Twain would agree, noting once that as an author paid by the word, why would he write metropolis when he can just say city?

2. Be direct. Business letters tend to be round about, such as "In the unlikely eventuality that you encounter various and sundry difficulties with the above-referenced project, apprise us of the situation at your convenience." In other words, "Let us know if you have problems."

3. Eliminate redundancy. This kind of writing seems to be most common among writers who don't have time (or students who don't take time!) to revise first drafts. Example: "In reviewing the notes of his lecture, he referred back to what he had written during class." Just say, "He reviewed his lecture notes."

4. Avoid "There is/are," "It is" and "What" clauses beginning a sentence. These blah beginnings include a form of that poor overworked verb "to be," and can nearly always be snapped into something more readable. Examples: "there are three employees who have gone on vacation." Just say: "Three employees have gone on vacation." "There is a tendency for beginning writers to use weak verbs." Or: "Beginning writers tend to use weak verbs." "It is our belief that the city sales tax must be reduced. Or: "We believe the city sales tax must be reduced." "What we need to do next is call the mayor." Or: "Next we need to call the mayor."

5. Avoid using the verb "to be." Is, are, was, were, will be, used as the main verb leaves the reader with a flaccid, fuzzy, imprecise sentence. We've talked about substituting blah verbs for more energetic ones. Example one of this rule: find a substitute for "to be." You can almost always do it. For instance, note that so far I haven't used the verb in a sentence. Examples: "The fair was rained out." "We're [We are] ready for business." "The CEO will be on hand for questions." "The new employees are at our Denver office."

How could you rewrite to eliminate the weak verb? "Rain forced the fair to close early." "Our products await their first customers." "The CEO plans to appear to answer questions." "The new employees have moved to our Denver office." It's a fun challenge to write a whole article avoiding the verb "to be." Try it.

5. Revise nominalizations. These are verbs squeezed between articles and prepositions, leaving several indirect words where one direct one would get to the point. Examples: "Make a revision of this sentence." "He made a study of the accident." Or: "Revise this sentence." "He studied the accident."

6. Prefer the positive to the negative. This sounds like a public relations ploy--well, I suppose it is--but people seem to prefer reading about the half-full glass. "Do not stand in this line unless you have a ticket," sounds a bit off-putting. "This line is for ticket-holders" encourages us to, well, get a ticket.

Want to know more about sprightly writing? Check out Ross's quick guide, Small Packages: Write Bright, Have Fun, Be Read.