No Means No
No one should be forced to engage in any kind of sexual activity against their will. Sex should always be consensual. If you or someone you know has been forced to have sexual contact without consent, you are not alone. There is help available.
Most of the time the victim knows the person who violated them. They might be someone the victim considered a friend, a date, or thought was a really nice person. Sometimes that makes it hard to tell someone else, or to even call it sexual assault or rape. Victims sometimes blame themselves for what happened, but it is never a victim’s fault.
What you can do if you have been sexually assaulted
§ If you are still in danger call 911.
§ Get to a safe place and call a friend who you trust.
§ Call the 24 hour hotline at the Rape & Abuse Crisis Center at (701) 293-7273. They can help you decide your options. You don’t have to be alone.
§ Decide if you want to make a police report. If you are on campus, call the NDSU Police at 231-8998. If you are off campus, call the Fargo Police at (701)235-4493 or the Moorhead Police at (218) 299-5120.
§ Decide if you would like to seek medical help. You can go to the hospital to be treated for any injuries. You can choose to see a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) who can collect evidence in the event you decide to press charges. You do NOT have to report to police right away in order to have a forensic exam. You can decide to file a police report later.
§ If you think you were drugged, tell a nurse or doctor right away so they can screen for drugs.
§ Try not to urinate, wash yourself, or change your clothes. If you have a cup that you or the person who assaulted you drank from, or any other potential evidence, bring it with you.
§ If you don’t want to go to the hospital, you can visit Student Health Services for a medical exam. If you don’t want an exam, you can still purchase the morning after pill without an appointment if you are concerned you could become pregnant. You can make an appointment at a later date for STI testing.
§ Talk to a supportive person.
§ Consider talking to a professional therapist. You can visit the NDSU Counseling Center or consider other options for free services.
§ Consider making a report to the NDSU Vice President for Student Affairs. There is an on-campus judicial process for disciplinary action if the assailant is a student. You can receive assistance if the person who assaulted you is in your classes or lives in your residence hall. You can also receive academic help.
What you can do if your friend has been sexually assaulted
§ Listen and don’t judge.
§ Let your friend decide how much they want to tell. Don’t press for details.
§ Reassure your friend that the assault was not her or his fault.
§ Offer to help identify resources. Let your friend decide what she or he wants to do- don’t push your friend to do what you think is right. Remember it is their choice. Offer to go with them.
§ Remember that your friend’s power and control was taken from them against their will. She or he gets to decide what happens next.
§ Get your friend’s permission to talk about what happened to other people.
§ Don’t ask questions that may imply that the assault was your friend’s fault. For example, don’t ask “Did you go to his room?” or “Were you drinking?”
§ Don’t expect your friend to react in a certain way. Each person deals with trauma differently. There is not right way to react to a sexual assault.
§ Take care of yourself. Friends and loved ones can experience secondary trauma.
You should know…
§ 1 in 4 college women will be a victim of sexual assault by the time she graduates
§ According to the US Department of Justice, there are 35 rapes per 1,000 female students on a college campus.
§ 80-90% survivors know the person who assaulted them.
§ Only 16% of all rapes and sexual assaults are reported to police.
§ Men can be sexually assaulted.
§ Less than 1% rape is perpetrated by women.
§ 99% of rape is perpetrated by men, but 99% of men do NOT commit rape!
§ Most prevention efforts focus on what potential victims should do differently to avoid being raped. Prevention efforts rarely address cultural issues or hold men accountable to stop rape. Sexual assault is not a women’s issue. Sexual assault affects men and women.
§ Alcohol use is highly correlated with sexual assault. Alcohol is the #1 date rape drug.
Sexual Assault at NDSU
We take sexual assault seriously at NDSU as explained in the Rights and Responsibilities of Community: A Code of Student Behavior, section 5.14 http://www.ndsu.edu/fileadmin/studentlife/PDF_Files/CodeofStudentBehavior.pdf.
5.14 Sexual Misconduct/Sexual Acts
An NDSU goal is to create a campus community free from interpersonal abuse, including sexual assault. NDSU commits its resources to the following twofold process:
a) To provide crisis intervention and a judicial/disciplinary response for persons and alleged offenders, and
b) To educate and promote discussion on interpersonal abuse and violence.
5.14.1 Sexual Assault and Sexual Misconduct Policy
a) Sexual assault or sexual misconduct, in any form, is prohibited.
b) The abuse of alcohol or other substances does not relieve individuals of their responsibilities to themselves or others. The university encourages individuals to report sexual offenses even though they may have voluntarily been under the influence of alcohol and/or other substances at the time.
For purpose of this policy, the following definitions apply:
1. Sexual assault is any sexual behavior between two or more people to which one person does not or cannot consent. This includes sexual acts or contacts with others that can involve:
a) Compelling a person to submit to sexual acts or contacts by force or threat of force,
b) Using intoxicants to substantially impair the person’s power to give consent,
c) Engaging in such acts when the person suffers from a mental state that renders him or her incapable of understanding the nature of the contact. This includes, but is not limited to, situations when an individual is intoxicated, “high,” scared, physically or psychologically pressured or forced, passed out, intimidated, coerced, mentally or physically impaired, beaten, threatened, isolated or confined,
d) When the person is under 15 years of age, or
e) When one person is between the ages of 15 and 17, and the other party is 18 or older.
2. Sexual misconduct occurs when a sexual act is committed without intent to harm another and when, by failing to correctly assess the circumstances, a person believes unreasonably that consent was given without having met his/her responsibility to gain effective consent. Situations involving physical force, violence, threat or intimidation fall under the definition of sexual assault, not sexual misconduct, and will be treated as such under these procedures.
3. Sexual act includes, but is not limited to:
a) Sexual intercourse,
c) Sexual penetration with an inanimate object,
d) Touching of a person’s intimate parts (genitalia, groin, breast, or buttocks, or clothing covering them), or
e) Compelling a person to touch his or her own or another person’s intimate parts without consent.
4. Consent means words or actions that show a voluntary agreement to engage in mutually agreed upon sexual activity. Consent is an affirmative decision given by clear actions or words. It is important not to make assumptions. If confusion or ambiguity on the issue of consent arises anytime during the sexual interaction, it is essential that each participant stops and clarifies, verbally, willingness to continue. Consent may not be inferred from silence, passivity or lack of active resistance alone. Furthermore, a current or previous dating or sexual relationship is not sufficient to constitute consent, and consent to one form of sexual activity does not imply consent to other forms of sexual activity.
Definition of Sexual Assault at NDSU (NDSU Sexual Assault Student Policy, section 603.2)
To view the entire NDSU policy, visit http://www.ndsu.edu/policy/603.htm
Sexual assault is any sexual behavior between two or more people to which one person does not or cannot consent. In describing sexual assault, NDSU relies upon North Dakota state law concerning sexual imposition which is much broader than the traditional concept of rape. NDSU prohibits sexual acts or contacts with others which can involve compelling a survivor to submit to sexual acts or contacts by force or threat of force, use of intoxicants to substantially impair the survivor's power to give consent, engaging in such acts when there is reasonable cause to believe the survivor suffers from a mental state which renders him or her incapable of understanding the nature of the contact or where the survivor is under fifteen years of age. The abuse of alcohol or other substances does not relieve individuals of their responsibilities to themselves or others. Prohibited behavior includes all forcible and non-forcible sex offenses provided for under North Dakota state law. Examples of prohibited behavior include but are not limited to the following:
1) Acquaintance or date rape
2) Stranger rape
3) Indecent exposure
4) Attempted sexual acts by use of verbal or non-verbal threats
Resources @ NDSU
NDSU Student Health Services http://www.ndsu.edu/studenthealthservice/
231-7331, NDSU Wellness Center, 18th Street and Centennial Boulevard
NDSU University Police & Safety Office http://www.ndsu.edu/police_safety/police/
231-8998 (Available 24 hours) 1523 12th Avenue North
NDSU Counseling Center http://www.ndsu.edu/counseling/
231-7671, 212 Ceres Hall
Vice President for Student Affairs http://www.ndsu.edu/vpsa/
231-7701, 100 Old Main
Resident Hall Director/Resident Hall Assistant
see Residence Hall phone directory
F-M Rape & Abuse Crisis Center www.raccfm.com
293-7273, Available 24 hours
911 or non-emergency (701)235-4493, 222 4th Street North, Fargo
Moorhead Police http://www.moorheadpolice.com/
911 or non-emergency (218) 299-5120, 915 9th Avenue North, Moorhead
NDSU Family Therapy Center http://www.ndsu.edu/hdfs/family_therapy_center/
231-8534, SGC Building, 1919 University Dr. N
National Sexual Assault Hotline
The National Sexual Assault Online Hotline/ Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN)
http://online.rainn.org/ (instant messaging available)
National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC)
Men Can Stop Rape
White Ribbon Campaign